Last Post in Xxaler [Blogger]

Posted by Hanna on 12:15 AM
I'm sorry to tell you all that I have quit blogging and the internet. I will leave as soon as I say my goodbyes and finish this post. I've put a lot of thought into this and I have made my decision. I will not change my mind and (...Holy fuck, my mom just told me we're going to church. NOOOOOO!!!...)

...my mom totally ruined my train of thought. Crushed the tracks and sat on the train itself until it slowly dematerializes and the people in the train fade away into oblivion. It was all a big joke. I'm only moving to Wordpress.

So much for drama. =_=



We are who we choose to be.

Posted by Hanna on 3:00 AM
Just to make things clear, PODKOD is not my friend's blog. He just happens to post there often, for some reason. And I don't see any other active members. But it doesn't matter. I created it so that my friends who enjoyed blogging could join and post there. I thought that maybe that would get them more visitors and the readers would have a choice of author or more things to read. I thought that maybe I would save time and energy if I would go to only one destination to read the things going on in my friends' lives rather than going to individual blogs. Now I realize that going to individual blogs isn't really a difficult task which led me to making a decision as to whether I should delete PODKOD or not. And I have chosen not to. Please click here to learn more PODKOD. I created PODKOD and perhaps that would make me the owner but I would rather say that nobody owns it. Everyone is free to join, free to post and free to read the contents. Also, I do not post at PODKOD except for updates. Xxaler is my main blog and if you'd like to read about my days, you can find posts about it here. Now I'll continue this post with a story about my days, like I always have, always do and always will.

There's this guy in my class and he has an extraordinary smile. He is so charming and it looks like he was a masterpiece. He has a ravishing smile that looks like it was carved by angels. He would skip school sometimes though, which wouldn't make me describe him as angelic. He would smile at me whenever we see each other while walking home from school and it just makes me feel so nice. Whenever he smiles at me, I melt into my Mary Janes. And last Wednesday, I sat at this empty seat behind me (it was the last seat at the back) and doodled on my special notebook there. Then he moved to my seat and drew at the back of hs notebook while I sat behind him, pausing for a few moments to realize that the sweet scent I would smell was coming from him. After he moved back to his seat, I moved back to mine too after a few minutes. Then he moves the seat next to the back seat where I was and he looked at my drawings from behind. I could feel it and I looked back to see if he was there just to make sure but we were too close to each other which surprised us both and made us back off a bit from each other. Later on in Science class, I move to the back seat again and drew there. And he sits next to me. I didn't want to look at him so I just focused on drawing on my notebook and enjoying his presence. We had small talk. Very small, as I am not very talkative around people I'm not close to. Then he just watched me draw and asked to see my other notebooks and the one I drew on. The seats in front of us were vacant and the Science teacher said that, "All of you, listen! You move to different seats too much. From now on, the seat you are sitting on now is your permanent seat." Everyone cheered and I cheered as well, but only in my mind. Our teacher looks at us and says, "Both of you, move to the vacant seats in front of you." So we do as our teacher says and sit there. He goes back to his seat and for a moment I think to myself, "Maybe I was boring him. Oh well." But then he comes back after a few minutes which seemed like forever and he draws beside me. He asked to borrow the other pen I use so I let him, and we draw on. After a while, I looked to see what he was writing and it turned out to be somebody's name. "Carla". He notices me looking at it and he looked like he felt a bit awkward when I saw it so I just said, "Carla, aye? I thought Jelly was your girlfriend." and he says, "Jelly T.?" (because there are two Jelly's in our class.) and I said, "No, Jelly I." and he just chuckles and says, "Haha, Jelly is crazy."

Anyways, the best day of this week would probably be Wednesday, even though we have 10 hours of school during Wednesdays since they add 4 hours of TLE. TLE (Technology and Livelihood Education) was good as I had expected. Our teacher in TLE this year was the same TLE teacher I had last year and she can start a great discussion. She has earned my respect. I like her a lot and if I could, I would tell her what I really think about her. That she is a magnificent educator and I am very much impressed. Now let's skip to Science class. During Science class, our teacher divided us into 5 groups depending on which column we belonged to in the seating arrangement. 2 groups were fighting on who would get me because I used to be part of this certain team and they wanted me their because they needed me. But the other team wanted me to so they fought for me for a while. I went with the other group for some reason. Anyways, the first team to finish the group work would get 5 points. I answered all the questions and drew the things that needed to be drawn which won us 7 points. We were the first to finish and that got us 5 extra points. We got a 12/10, haha. It would have been a 13 if I didn't doubt my answer on this certain question. My groupmates wanted to see my special notebook too, which contained my doodles for the sophomore year. They passed it around the table and my classmate asked for some of my works. She took 3 but I didn't mind even though I liked them too. I had to hide 2 of my favorites so she wouldn't get them, haha. I also smiled at my classmates and made new friends. Thanks to the guy who taught me the prizes you could win if you just learned to smile.

"...I felt that maybe I should stop going for a week just to see if I can handle it. And I indulged myself in Neil Gaiman's works just to pass the time."

This was part of what I did this week. I have been reading The Sandman. It's my favorite. They're expensive in my place though, so I only have a few issues in my possession. My father told me that there are 10 issues in total but I recently discovered that there are actually 75 issues all in all. And that the ones my father was talking about were of the Sandman Library. I have Preludes and Nocturnes, The Doll's House, Dream Country, Season of Mists, The Kindly Ones and The Wake. I've read all that I have. Preludes and Nocturnes & The Doll's House last week and the rest just today. They're excellent. Great artwork and plot. I recommend them to those of you who enjoy reading the kind of things that I do. One of my favorite illustrations were of Lucifer in Preludes and Nocturnes.
All of the styles are outstanding, actually. I envy the artists who worked on these and I would love nothing more than to draw like how they do.

That's it, I guess. I also miss the people I love. You know who you are.

Shoutouts to (in no particular order):
IATW (hai Joe, Mike and Jimmy, I miss you yo2 and Kyle)
Andrew (Are you there?)
Karpolo (HI SON :D)
and mah wifey
JBD (Happy Birthday!!!)
NiK & Gator (Update your blogs, dammit.)
Adrian & Soph (I wish more people would join PODKOD)
and Zipo (Thanks for always reading my massive posts.)


A week and 3 days all in one post.

Posted by Hanna on 12:44 AM
While I was away, I just kept drafts of my days in notepad so I wouldn't have to think so hard about what had happened on the past few days. I hope you enjoy reading about my thoughts and all the lot. :P

I haven't updated in days. Readers might think that this place is dead and I have completely forgotten about it. I haven't. But maybe I will stop updating again after this. I'm very busy with school. There are students in my class that seem smart and I know they'll do anything to become valedictorian. Their hardwork and dedication to waste their lives studying is funny, at the same time, challenging. Knowing that they will work thrice the amount an average student or a lazy student like me does, they have challenged me to become better. I'll be doing homework and studying for the rest of my days. I'll just be around in real life more than online for now. I want to beat their asses so hard and prove I'm better. I'm a competitive person and I am not going to let them make me look like how I look at everybody else. Stupid and far from the road to success. You could say I'm mean and boastful. I know and I honestly don't mind. :P To continue this post, I am merging 3 drafts that I have written for the past 3 days. Enjoy.

~Thursdays are terrific.

Today, my cousins and I went to school early. I had to wear our P.E. uniform which I loathe because of the huge, yellow shirt we had to wear. I strongly disliked that attire and I'm glad we only have to wear it once a week. Anyway, just as we arrived, I already felt like sitting down again. I asked my cousin if she wanted to sit down at the canteen with me. She agreed and we proceeded to check if there were any unoccupied tables. To my surprise, the canteen seemed like it was crowded with almost half the amount of students in the entire quadrangle.

I saw a handsome fellow not far from where I was standing and even though he was looking away, I knew this was the first man my heart throbed for. I told my cousin that there might be available tables at the canteen extension just at the other end of the hallway so we kept walking and passed by him and his friends. We found a table and sat there then my cousin bought a snack and we left, passing by them again but at that time, he walked to the staircase just across from where they were standing before and sat there.

While walking, my cousin said that she saw our other cousin and she pulled me towards the staircase. A really odd but lucky way to come near the guy, haha. We stopped. He saw me, and I saw him then my cousin and I ran upstairs to our other cousin and greeted her. After that, classes started and we all went to our rooms. Then we all met again at the bakery where we would always meet before walking home from school. I stopped by my cousins' house again and played with my uncle's son (cousins' half-brother) until it was late and I wanted to go home. I walked home with my cousins and we stopped at the sidewalk near my house and watched skateboarders skate back and forth and over a ramp. After that, I went straight to my house and did some internet stuff.


After seeing him at the hallway near the canteen, I expected him to be there again. I have provided a doodle of half the floor plan of the ground floor. He's at one end of the hallway (blue dot) and I'm at the other end of the other hallway (pink dot). I couldn't see him. There were so many students. I went to the canteen just to peer outside the glass windows to check if he was around. I didn't see him but I saw my cousin buying food with a former classmate of mine. I could see another former classmate standing outside the canteen so I walked to where she was and stood beside her. The walls have openings, like huge windows. I leaned on that, facing the quadrangle. I looked to see if he was around while talking to my friend but he wasn't. Just as I turned around, he exits the canteen. We were standing across each other, so close but still so far...

When my friends left, I just walked for a few seconds and saw another one of my friends (Yes, another former classmate.) so I stopped again. We greeted each other and talked. Then I leaned on one of those huge windows again. I looked to my side and I saw him there, talking to some students. He wasn't far from where I was. I walked towards the stairs and passed by them. When I reached the other hallway, I saw so many students going upstairs so I stopped and leaned again on one of those huge windows. My friend followed me with one of her friends. We talked some more and waited for all of the students to go upstairs so we could walk upstairs too. When we finally did, I looked back and saw him walking upstairs too, at the staircase at the other end of the hallway.

When it was finally dismissal time, I waited outside, not very far from school, hoping to see him before I go home. He wasn't around and I thought that maybe he had already walked home so I kept walking and saw my cousin's girlfriend. She was standing in front of the elementary building with a friend. She's nice and she has been best friends with my cousin since they met in 5th grade. I've known her for a year and they started dating just 2 months ago. I'm so happy for them. Anyways, her and our friend were waiting for my cousin so I waited with them. When she finally arrived, we stopped for a while and continued walking. I saw 2 of my former classmates and approached them. We talked for a long while and my cousins and old friends already left without me. Another former classmate came. We greeted each other and I complimented his shirt. (We're friends. I couldn't tell him he had a hot body, duh.) They walked me to the corner and I said goodbye and walked home. While walking, I spotted my cousin's girlfriend not far from where I was and walked faster to reach them.

We kept walking and crossed to the other side of the street. We stopped when they met an old friend, who was also an old friend of mine. They greeted each other and talked for a while. While they were having a little chat, I saw him with a group of friends at the other side of the street. We looked at each other and I looked away. We all kept walking and by chance, we were all walking at the same street as him and his friends. I didn't really want to look at them for some reason. I just kept on walking with my friends. We all stopped at 7-Eleven and they stopped there too. When we left, they went inside. His group of friends had 2 girls with them and I'm not sure if he's out with any of them. I shouldn't really care. I was a bit sad about it though. I felt like he was showing me a sure sign that he's taken and I should just back off.

We stopped at my cousins' place, did stuff and all went home. What a day.

After that, I recorded some things that happened this week.

~ Saw him in the morning before school started. Didn't see him after dismissal. I just had to hurry home for some reason.

~ Went to school early. Tried to look for him without actually looking. You know what I mean right? When you pass by people to check if someone's there. I mean, when you see by the side of your eyes. Anyways, we were at the canteen and when I turned, I saw him. I know it wasn't by chance that we looked straight into each other when I turned. He was just sitting there. When it was time to go home, bumped into him at the corner. We were so close... yet still, so far.

~ Storm means no school. No internet since I dropped the modem for the billionth time and now it won't work. So I'm just reading books and watching shows/movies and all the lot. I've been planning and thinking more as well. And getting more rest. Just relaxing. Nothing big.

~ End of storm so back to school. The thing I couldn't forget about today was during English class when my English teacher, who I thought was a dragon lady, was actually a nice person. I guess I forgot the fact that every person is a nice person but it only depends if you put yourself on their good side. Anyways, she was very nice today because we didn't have much to do or discuss about. She just talked about random things with the class. Later on, she walks around by the side of the column where I was. She was walking, talking and looking towards me. She said, "You know... you have a classmate that looks like a Korean." Of course, at once I knew she was talking about me. Everyone asked, "Who, ma'am?" and she says, "Your classmate here." And she points to me. Then she added, "And I like the way she speaks to me. She talks to me in English and she's very good." Which made me felt fantastic. :)

~ Watched the Italian Job. One of my favorite movies. It's excellent. I recommend you watch it. ;)

- I'm thinking about creating a new blog and leave this one and HLGS. Blogspot isn't really doing good for me. Now I can truly say that Wordpress is great and if you were to choose from Wordpress and Blogspot, I'd recommend you to choose Wordpress because I've had experience with both and trust me, I should know. ;) There are so many things you can do with Wordpress. A great feature you get from Blogspot is that you can change the name thingy for your blog. But other than that, whatever Blogspot can do, you can do it with Wordpress too. :D

- I have thought of a story and I wanted to continue writing it but today, I decided to stop for some reason. I guess I'm not the type that's so dedicated with things. How do they call it? Hmm. Ningas Kugon or something like that. You start with something but you don't finish it. I'm that type of person and I think I should do something about it.

I might make a new blog though and try to change my personality. I feel like such an awful person.



Posted by Hanna on 6:02 PM
Warning: If you are religious, do not read this. If you are religious and stubborn, go ahead.

Before I go to school, I'll leave my thoughts here so I won't have to carry such a heavy burden all the way to class. I think that I might be the only Atheist in this Catholic country. Ever since I was a young child, I have never enjoyed going to church. I like talking to "God" telephatically because there are things I know that I don't want to tell anybody else, not even the anonymous readers of this blog. I may be open at times but I have deep dark secrets no one must ever know of. Not even the author of Post Secret can convince me to mail a postcard anonymously with one of my dirty little secrets. I am not ashamed because I know there are people out there who have worse confidential information that could risk their lives and the lives of those that they love. Maybe I'm being paranoid but it's possible.

As I was saying, ever since I was a young child, I have never truly enjoyed going to church and worshipping something I believe has never existed. My parents once again forced me into going to church yesterday and again, I told them about how I don't want to go to church and I'm only going there because they are forcing me. They laughed and told me that I am obliged to go to church because I am a Catholic and again, I told them that I will not be forced to worship something just because I was born in a Catholic family with the word 'Christian Catholic' stamped onto my birth certificate. If they keep forcing me, sooner or later I am going to feel much hate and become an anti-Christ. I am quite certain that nobody would want that.

These are my real views upon Christianity. (Thanks to Jimmy for linking me to the image.) Also, I think Christianity is a practice wherein a group of Jesus-freaks read and discuss a fictional story book, much like Twilight, called 'The Bible'. They worship this dead Israelite because they think he will give them "everlasting life". Guess what? You can only live one life and if there is such a thing as being born again, you will not remember your past life. Therefore, there is no solid proof that all of this is possible. Even with Past Life Regression, this could all be just a bunch of lies and desires hidden beneath our subconscious. There are no records and this could all be a huge hoax. The gospels they dig up may just be manuscripts for a huge novel that took centuries to create. The readers may have been inspired to keep the story going. I've watched some of this in the Discovery Channel and it says that Jesus told Judas Escariot to tell the soldiers that he is the king of the jews. It only proves that Jesus planned all of this so everyone would think he is a magical being from the skies and his enormous father in Heaven will let everyone enter his kingdom and live happily ever after if they accept him by heart.

If you're an atheist, you will enjoy reading this. It's a log from the Walrus Chat.
[09:46] Hanna: fuck church.
[09:46] Steven: INORITE
[09:46] Hanna: I would rather go to school for 10 hours than stay in church for an hour.
[09:46] Mike: the bread at church tastes good
[09:46] Hanna: it does?
[09:46] Steven: Yeah
[09:46] Mike: yeah it tastes like Jesus' body
[09:47] Hanna: It tastes like cardboard boxes to me.
[09:47] Hanna: lol mike
[09:47] Steven: And so does Jesus' blood
[09:47] Mike: I might just resort to cannibalism after tasting the body of Christ.

Anyway, I honestly hate being yelled at and I can't fight back at people who love me unconditionally. Even though at times, they may not respect some of my decisions in life, I guess it would be best if I just play along, just until I am old enough to move out and very far away from my family. I would love to live my own life, by my own rules and principles. I'm pretty sure that time will give me what I have always wanted soon enough.

^- That ends here. You can read the rest. -v

Let's move onto a different subject. Something funny happened yesterday. I was very sick and becoming delirious. I wasn't having such a good time, in fact I was very moody that day. Typing what I was thinking like I usually do, I blurted out in the Walrus Chat that, "Today has been a very boring week." If you fail to find the error in that sentence, you must be as bewildered as I was at that moment. That single sentence is worthy of an epic face palm. Let us unite and give it what it deserves.


New Stuff:
* I got a tweet-rawr. I already registered for one before when I was still into HLGS but I couldn't understand how it worked so I quit. Now I made another but with the name 'xxaler'. Talk to me if you have an account. :) !!!
* My good friend, NiK, made a blog! Check it out by clicking this link.
* My good friend, Adam, asked me to make a header for his blog. Go check it out!


Strain your brain!

Posted by Hanna on 4:19 AM

"Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love."

I thought today would be another one of my average Fridays. The children are playing outside and the sun is at its highest. I sat down and looked outside, listening to the soft, sweet song of the birds and watching beautiful butterflies glide gracefully in the breeze. I didn't really question myself the moment I thought that it would be a good idea to purchase a croissant. I just finished eating so it was rather odd.

I proceeded to wearing my favorite coat and taking a stroll outside. The townspeople greeted me as I passed by them. Wanting to be courteous, I greeted them as well. The bridge overlooks a wonderful stream and from there I could see a lot of cows on my way to the bakery. When I arrived, I bought a croissant and then ordered coffee in the shoppe next door. Whilst looking for a place to sit, I bumped into this handsome gentleman. I accidentally spilled my coffee so he offered to treat me to another cup of coffee as he was about to buy one anyway. We sat at a table under a shady acacia and spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other.

Story telling. This is not a true story. It was just something I came up with while I was bored. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Also, credits to whoever took that image I used. (Click the pic to see the original. There's a link there to whoever the photographer is. Thank you.) Now it's time to strain your brain and leave a comment stating who or what you think I may be. I might be a young school girl who's found love or a french lady who just met a new friend. ;) Be sure to use your creative juices and let the ideas flow out of your head! :)


One man's stool is another midget's table!

Posted by Hanna on 11:36 PM
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
^_^ Kitty is pleased.

I have many friends who have astounding skills. One of them is Andrew. Andrew is a pretty amazing guy. Sometimes I tell myself that I want to be just like him but then I have second thoughts and decide that I should just grow up to be better than him. It's one tough challenge I'm willing to take. If you knew him, you would be surprised by all the things he can do. I think the only thing he can't do is fail, haha. Today, he posted some images he took in 2008. View them by clicking here. This is my favorite. He says they're shit but I don't see why. I guess if a person can do something and thinks it's shit, people who can't do it will think it's amazing. Oh well.

Sometimes I tell him that I want to assassinate him when I'm older. He doesn't know that I'm really saying he's important enough to be assassinated unlike the average people out there who are only said to be murdered. Have you ever wondered how important you have to be for people to say you were assassinated?

Most Recent Art: (I didn't change that much to be honest.)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Other stuff: I'm trying to compose a song about high school life. Here is a line from the song: "I look to the shower head and pray for mercy. Let the cold water run down." Also, my horoscope for today (Pisces) is "Look at all those ideas running around in your head! Take time to clear some out." I get my horoscope from a certain site and they are always right. If you want, you can leave a comment stating your zodiac sign and I'll post your horoscope. ;)

Copyright © 2009 xxaler :: relaxx All rights reserved. Theme by Laptop Geek. | Bloggerized by FalconHive.