This is probably the best day in my life ever. I'm so happy right now that I might spazz out too much and make my guts implode all over my laptop. Haha. You guys can not imagine how happy I am. I am so fucking happy right now. I don't even give a shit that my dad is threatening me about how today is going to be my last day on this computer. It's not and I know I'm gonna get my way. Yay me. And if by chance he finds out about this blog, I'm going to rape all the computers in their company. Hazza!

In Forumwarz, I leveled up like 3 times today, earned so much flezz and got a bad ass thing in the Ppwn Shoppe that boosts everything and gives like 100 processing power. (My class is a hacker.) And that's one hell of a real steal. It was only 4k flezz unlike those half-a-million worth thingies that boost your processing power to the same amount. I think I can only use it once but I don't really give a shit since I have it and I can name 666 people who don't. :D I felt like I won the lottery without even entering. I'm so happy right now. I even said that over 9000 times today.

Other than that, I beat this internet tough guy's ass until it bled. Fuck you, Steven. Yeah, you. (He's a guy that goes to CPHQ. It's a forum and you can find the link at my huge blogroll in the side bar.) I also stopped my kick ass best friend, Andrew, from quitting which saved CPHQ from turning into a shit hole like CPC. CPC sucks and it's a hole where all the bullfuck all over the internet ends up. Even all of the noobs that drop out of Disney's ass land in that god forsaken pathetic excuse of a forum.

All my meals today were awesome too. Every moment of this damn day is fucking fantastic. It's fucktastic. Bacon is yummy and if you can get an orgasm from bacon, I'll point at you and laugh so hard and then say it's funny and then laugh some more. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh guess what? MORE great news. Can this day get any fucking better than it already is?! Jesus Christ, I'm so happy right now that I can't control myself. Today I received news that I'm one of the students who will be going to school in the afternoon session. That means I can go online in the mornings and catch all my favorite people online and by the time they go to bed, it's time for me to go to school. It's perfect I tell ya! Perfect!

I'm so happy right now (lol I said it again) and this is even better than the time Cabby said, "Hanna<3">

TvHeadMen

A character that came to life in an attempt of creating vintage artwork. I have always wanted to make comics of my own. I have tried to make comics, sadly, my flow of ideas have been blocked by a huge dam composed of God-knows-what-and-I'm-pretty-sure-that-it's-not-mud.

Luckily, I had one comic idea pop into my mind. It will require only 4 panels and I hope it turns out good because it's really hard drawing with a mouse and it's even harder to color. I haven't started coloring until I was almost 14 years old. If the first comic doesn't fail like I'm hoping it won't, I will continue to make more. So be sure to post your opinions when and if I post that comic.

I usually tell people, or myself, about all the things I'm planning to do, but I never do it anyway. :P

Tvheadmen | Boxheadman | PCheadman

I have mentioned it a few times. I enjoy winning.
I "won" something today. It makes me feel so happy to be able to be first choice. My aunt bought some chocolate. Cadbury to be exact. I don't love chocolate and I don't hate it. If I get chocolate, I eat it. I guess that's just the way it works. I never really questioned why I just have to pop sweets into my mouth.

Anyway, my aunt each gave us a piece of chocolate, because my family loves to share everything we have with everyone else. Even to visitors, if there are any. So she divided the chocolate into equal parts and called us so we can get our share. My sister wanted the chocolate so when my aunt offered my dad a piece and said he didn't want it, my sister asked for it from my dad. Upon hearing this, I said, "Dad, you should have said no." and he asks why so I said, "I wanted the chocolate..."

I said it as a joke. I didn't mind not having chocolate. It's the thought that counts, really. My dad chuckled and shouted (they were downstairs and my dad went upstairs when I talked to him.) "Sarah, I take that back. You can't have the chocolate." My sister heard this and said okay then she comes running upstairs and gives my dad the chocolate. My dad taps me on the shoulder and I see him offering me the chocolate. Taking something back to give it to me felt so nice. I was overwhelmed. It's like a sincere feeling, a wonderful moment where you smile and a tear runs down your cheek. Oh the drama.

News:
My friend, Kasey, made a blog today. Check it out by clicking this link. He will be posting soon so keep an eye out for updates. (Lol, I'm trying my best not to repeat words. xD) And another friend, Celebi, also has a blog. His posts are fantastic so be sure to check them out. I found out that people actually go here to read my tl;dr posts. Another wonderful moment. Hoorah!

Even moar news:
I made some art. I'll be posting it here, rather than leaving links to them so readers will have something to look at. :D This is something I made for #iamthewalrus. This is also my first try on drawing a walrus.

I had things to do and people to talk to, like every other day.
Then the people disappeared. I was alone.
I wanted to talk to my best friend but he wasn't around.
I wanted to talk to my best friend but she didn't want me around.
I'm confused.

I planted a seed in the ground and it grew
and I rode on its leaves as it reached for the skies.

I had a dream on the way, a dream about a man
who lived in my home and watched tv all day.
He was hot. :P

I would hide from him and run away.
Like how I always run away in my other dreams.
Why do I dream about running away?
Do I crave freedom? Don't I have it?

[Update]: I made a cartoon. I was bored. You can click here to view it.

Just like me, I know you've got needs. Right now, I need a lot of time to think and to take my mind off of all these sad things going on in my life. I think I lost a friend but I'm not sure. I asked her if we were still friends and she said, "I don't know." If she can't say yes to me straight, I'm taking that as a no. So I wrote a letter in my profile that I'm hoping she will notice and read.

Dear,

We could sit beside each other all day long, and I could say so much but I don't want to because I think it's better to keep my thoughts in my head. I'm afraid to show emotion.

I thought that maybe we would last forever. Because you're one of the things I keep so safe, so dear, so close to my heart. And maybe if you were lonely, we could talk for hours and no one else would have to know. But I'm the one who's lonely now and you're not around.

I'm not saying that you owe me. In fact, you owe me nothing. But I guess if I'm trying to get things to work out with somebody else, it would mean losing you. You see me like I was never a part of your life. Hear me out, I'm sorry.

Maybe if I weren't so stubborn, things would have been good. None of us are understood.

I'm not saying that she's not my friend anymore. She's still my friend. I love all my friends. This is practically my fault anyway. I forgot her birthday and accidentally said some mean things... She's been like this for ages now. I don't know how I'm going to make her feel better. I've tried so hard but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Maybe I didn't even give my all. I'm such a terrible person.

I can say that today has been a good day, even though it's only 3pm. :P Earlier today, a few minutes past 11am, there was a loud boom and the power went out. We received news that an electric post at a street not far from our house exploded. Hearing about this, I suddenly remembered about the crash that happened a few days ago. I went out and sat at one of the steps leading to the entrance of our house. I was petting my cat, O.J. when out of the blue, I hear a woman screaming and then a loud crash. I walked towards our gate and looked outside. I look out to see that a jeep crashed at the metal boards that covered an empty parking lot, in front of our house. Luckily, no one got hurt.

Music
My brother listens to my music so I gave him 50 songs. I let him choose and I transferred them to his PSP. Today I was bored, waiting for 2 hours to pass and trying to do something to kill time. I decided to play some songs by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

After that, I played 'Spongebob & Patrick Confront The Psychic Walls Of Energy' by The Flaming Lips. I don't understand why people don't like the song. I do. I think it has a mellow and fun tune and I enjoy listening to it occasionally.

As I was dancing and snapping my fingers to the song, my brother played Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, maxed out the volume in his PSP and held it by my ear. I didn't mind and continued to sing along and snap my fingers to the Spongebob song. Later on, my brother starts laughing and said, "I'm trying to confuse you." and I replied, "Haha, I know." Before I end today's post, I'd like to say that I named this post 'Red Hot Chili Peppers' simply because they have good music. :)

This is my last week of summer vacation. As I type these words, I am eating up a lot of my time which I can use in other ways to enjoy my last few days of my precious summer. But expressing my thoughts is probably worth it.

I can say that I enjoyed this year's summer vacation. One of the best things I ever did this summer was spend my mornings with a friend. His name is Andrew and he rocks my technicolor socks off! I'm going to miss talking to him, and to a lot of other people from CPHQ. I can only catch them online in the mornings, which I won't be able to do when school starts. Seeing as Freshmen and Sophomores go to school in the morning session, we are sent home in the afternoon, when Junior and Senior students' classes will start. By the time I get home, most of the CPHQ members, that are Americans, would be asleep by then. And Andrew would be driving home from work.

This year is a new year. In the school I go to, not one year is the same. Students are randomized and each year, we graduate in a batch full of new individuals. People we only used to pass by in the hall ways, never noticed that existed and never cared about. This year will be different like all the others. This year, we will to experience new things, be taught by new teachers and befriend new students. It won't be the same but I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy it, like every other year and like every other student before me.

I know that right now is the time I should be blowing off each day, partying harder than before and getting myself wasted. I know that right now, I'm supposed to celebrate and enjoy myself more than I did when summer just started. I don't know why I'm being sad and drowning myself in negative thoughts. I guess I'm not really a happy-go-lucky person. Perhaps I'm the princess of darkness? Nah. Princesses remind me of unicorns and rainbows. I'm not falling for that kind of shit. Oh my, I cussed again. Is there really a single post of mine wherein I didn't say a foul word? I doubt that, haha! :D

I'm going to blow my last days off, even if it kills me.

Blog Updates:
Not much. I just added some more links to the links widget at the side bar. Click the words and you'll find yourself in one of my favorite websites in the internet. ;)

This is gonna be very long. Even longer than what my friend, Adrian, writes. Check out his posts at my old blog.

I've been one hell of selfish and self-centered bastard lately that I keep going nuts and pounding myself on the bed, in the sofa and practically everywhere around the house. If I didn't do it in a soft place, I would probably break my spine. Imagine your body throwing itself up and down involuntarily and violently. That's what I've been doing. I've been crying out loud and screaming so hard that I almost got myself a soar throat. Yikes. I'll be adding titles to the 2 chapters of this very long post to add flavor(?) and make it seem less long. :P

Chapter 1: Attack of the virus!
I guess I was having a bad and somewhat busy week. About four days ago, I was trying to remove a virus from my laptop. After thinking that I successfully removed the virus, I shut down the computer and went to bed. The next day, as I tried to log into my profile, it kept automatically logging me off. I decided to meet up with one of my friends who specializes in those geeky computer stuff and asked him how I could solve the problem. We went online on his computer and decided to look for an answer there. I got the information I needed, thanked him for his help and left.

I needed to start my laptop in Safe Mode and insert a disk I used to install the Operating System. The problem is, I didn't have the disk because my mom made a friend of her's install it for her when she bought the laptop. I stopped using my laptop because I couldn't log in and my parents quickly knew there was a problem. They would usually see me doing my work in this computer and I guess they knew something was wrong since all I ever did for the past few days was watch shows, play soccer, draw, etc. I rarely do those anymore since they bought me a computer of my own.

My parents asked me what was wrong, I told them, I explained what needed to be done and they took care of it for me. My mom took it to her office and had it reformatted. I lost all my fonts, programs and chat logs (Sigh. All my chat logs. I read them when I miss the good ol' days.) but they managed to save some of my other important files. I could always re-install the programs and re-download all those fonts but I'm really going to miss all the memories they had to erase. I have almost everything back. I just need to get Adobe Photoshop and Flash CS4 again and maybe download a few fonts I can remember.

Saving myself from an emotional breakdown.
My mother and I send each other letters sometimes. Emails, little notes, cards, etc. I usually send her cards that express my love for her. She is truly a very caring and supportive mother and I am very lucky to be her's. The last letter I sent her was different from the others though. This letter was about all the negative feelings and thoughts I had after she called me boastful. I know I'm self centered at times but I just don't like how people tell me what to change and what to be. I like figuring things out for myself.

She has the letter I wrote her and I have a letter she wrote back. She gave me the letter after I got back the laptop. Here is what she wrote:


22 May 2009

My dearest H,
It's a good thing you wrote this note and left it on the table because it gives me the chance to write you back.
From what you wrote, you have opened about:

• What you know - "I'm selfish and self-centered." , "I'm not the best."
• What you feel - "I've wasted 14 years of my life."
• What you think - "I'm going to continue to do this because I'm lazy."
• What you need - "I keep searching for someone who I can treat as a challenge, opponent and prize."

Your opinions are your views. What you say about what is around you is how you see it. How you see what is around you is what you say about it.
Do I think you worry so much about your future? Or do I say that you worry so much because you talk about it every now and then? Like, "what course should I take in college", "what career should I get into", "at what rate would getting a place of my own be when I'm older", etc.
Do I keep telling you that you can do anything so that you will eventually embrace that and I will think that you are boastful? Or do I say that you can do anything because I believe in what I see in you?

This is how it was:
You are the most creative kid that I have known in my life. I have made you aware of that. I witnessed how your skills have developed from your very first doodle when you were barely 3 years old.
You have made an impression in school because of your creativity plus your academic skills. Your school has made you aware of that. Your teachers have assigned you as chairman of the class, as group leader for school projects, as class representative in academic activities, etc.
As a result (of you seeing for yourself what has been made aware to you not just by me and your teachers, but also by your friends), this is how it is now:

• You are out of focus. You cannot determine, specifically, what it is that's right for you.
• You are restless. You can do a lot that you want to do it all. And do it all at once.
• You are in panic. You cannot decide, and it seems to you that time is running out.

Until you turn that negativity around, you will not realize that what you are searching for is not among others, it is within you. Why don't you challenge yourself for a change?
If you are selfish and self-centered as you say you are, challenge yourself to be humble.
If you have wasted 14 years of life as you say you have, challenge yourself to recover.
If you are lazy as you say you are, challenge yourself to be active.
If you search for someone as you say you do, challenge yourself to be independent of another being.
You may start by doing this:

• Use that pen and paper to make an outline.
• Write your main objective.
• Write down the results that you expect to attain.
• Develop a plan.

You may also do the same for your college course and career.
Keep this in mind: Relax. What you have is not a curse. It is a gift.

Ma-Te

When I read this, everything became so clear to me and I understood why I have been so stressed out lately. I also now realize that telling someone you trust, like your mother, can help in solving problems. I recommend you guys do the same thing I did. Communicate with someone who you trust. You'll never know, that person might be able to help. ;)

She celebrated her birthday recently and I didn't even greet her properly. I admit, I didn't know it was her birthday but I know I'm supposed to find out for myself if she didn't tell it to me. I said 'Happy Birthday' to her in a secret message that she had to crack. Cheap and stupid, I know. ._. Anyway, after that day, she has been feeling sad so I made her a poem to cheer her up.

When hope is gone and things are queer,
I look for you and you are here.
I feel so nice when you're around.
Your voice must be the sweetest sound.

You're an inspiration and that's true.
I'm glad I have a friend like you.
I know I do things that make you sad
and act so innocent when you're mad.

If others do things that hurt you,
I swear to God, I'll hurt them too.

~Love, Hanna. (:
I hope this makes you feel better!

I'm a terrible friend and I'm sorry. You never did anything bad to me and all you deserve his happiness. You're a wonderful friend and I would never do or say anything mean to you on purpose. If you want, I'll let you beat me up until I bleed. xD

Note to readers (if there are any): I have been posting poems a lot (3 in a row) and just to make things clear, this blog is not about poetry. It's about anything. I'll be posting some other things next time. :P I'm just a lazy bum so I post short poems, haha.

Before we were close like this,
living was so hard.
I tried my best to fly
but my wings just broke apart.

I see you in the heavens
and I try to reach the skies.
I'm feeling so weak
and tears are dripping from my eyes.

I cry so hard and scream your name.
I feel that this is worth the pain.
I fight to prove that I'm just as good.
You pushed me down and up I stood.

You put barriers around yourself
to keep the people out.
I won't give up. I'll come to you.
I can climb that wall, no doubt!

You broke my heart in two and
crushed it into a million pieces.
I've tried my best to win your affection.
Am I the only one who can see this?

Perhaps my best ain't good enough
because let's face it, you're a star!
But even though your way out there
I swear, I'll stoop to where you are.

I've been getting positive comments about the poem I made before. It encouraged me to write another. It might not be as good or good at all but I just posted it so I can get some opinions and suggestions. Comment & Critique~

Another attempt at coloring.

To make this post a bit longer, I'm going to post a poem I made over 9000 days ago.
It's a poem I made for the one I adore. Alright, here goes nothing...

---

I try to wrap myself around you
even though I know you'll never care.
I promise I will always be here to support you
even if to me, you're never there.

There are times I'm alone and no one understands me.
Then you make me smile with any thing you say.
Even though, to you, we're simply friends,
I'll look for you, each morning of my day.

Is this really worth it or am I wasting time?
I know that I don't have a chance when I ask you to be mine.

Dreams will stay in clouds where I float about each night.
As we venture off together in this aweinspiring site.

I look forward to spreading my wings and flying oh so high.
And together we'll look back and we'll wave the world goodbye.

Taco Bellarito Johns Supreme Swine Flu Porklet Finger Chilli Grande Beef Surprise Ranch Buffalo Organic Fried Corn Syrup Funarrito Whole Wheat Wrapper Fairly Traded Coffee Breaded Gordita Crunch Wrap Quesadilla with a side of Cinnamon Oles!

Yes, you heard me right! It's a single dish with a really long name. It's one hell of a special and delicious platter made by the most kick ass, bad ass, intelligent life form there is, Andrewp182! If you can't say it, you're pathetic. If you can't eat it, you're a loser. If you don't want it or even like it then you deserve to die. DIE PATHETIC LOSER.

Anyways, I just happened to memorize all 36 words. And I've been offering everyone a bite of it. My sister loves it when I say it. I can say it in a matter of 7 seconds and I'm proud. If anyone can say it faster, I'll do my best to beat it. The feeling of being the best is oh so sweet. Having this type of food touch the surface of your lips is the best thing a person could ever accomplish.

If you want a Taco Bellarito Johns Supreme Swine Flu Porklet Finger Chilli Grande Beef Surprise Ranch Buffalo Organic Fried Corn Syrup Funarrito Whole Wheat Wrapper Fairly Traded Coffee Breaded Gordita Crunch Wrap Quesadilla with a side of Cinnamon Oles, you're going to have a hard time getting one or even making one. Andrew is the only person in the universe who can concoct such a fantastic meal. It's so rare that Andrew himself has to choose a very few amount of people whose tastebuds are worthy enough to come in contact with something so divine.

Even God has to beg him to have a slice. Sadly, Andrew makes the decisions around here. If God wanted to take away Andrew's life for rejecting him, no one would be able to make a Taco Bellarito Johns Supreme Swine Flu Porklet Finger Chilli Grande Beef Surprise Ranch Buffalo Organic Fried Corn Syrup Funarrito Whole Wheat Wrapper Fairly Traded Coffee Breaded Gordita Crunch Wrap Quesadilla with a side of Cinnamon Oles and God would have to suffer for HIS sins.

You have to venture off to the States, walk barefoot through deserts, swim shark-infested waters, climb hazardous cliffs and travel around Nevada, knocking on every door and asking every person, "Where's Andrew?!". If by chance, you spot him in a sea of people, you're somewhat lucky. You have to get down on your knees, kiss his feet and beg him endlessly to make another Taco Bellarito Johns Supreme Swine Flu Porklet Finger Chilli Grande Beef Surprise Ranch Buffalo Organic Fried Corn Syrup Funarrito Whole Wheat Wrapper Fairly Traded Coffee Breaded Gordita Crunch Wrap Quesadilla with a side of Cinnamon Oles. If he rejects you, just go home. Annoy him and it will lower your very small chances even more. Worship him and he might make an exception, which is practically impossible. But if he says yes, you must be one special kid.

May Andrewp182 have mercy on your soul.